Those Effing Tabloids
by Cosmic Overlord
Summary: The Titans are barraged with mysterious tabliod articles displaying the deepest parts of their personal lives. Is it part of a plot? and can the Titans figure it out before their crediblity is destroyed? Lemons to come, BBRae, RobStar
1. Chapter 1: The National Asker annoys

**Those Effing Tabloids!**

**By: Cosmic Overlord, The Undisputed Ruler of the Galaxy and one of the good hearted  
verbal jousting apponents of the cheese of evil, El Queso De Maliscico **

**Rated: M for Induendo, Starfire innocently making very sexual refrences, a bit of language and (you guessed it) sex. (YAY Sex!)  
**

**Characters:**

**Beast Boy: Age 19, In the past few years BB has grown a few inches but still remains one of the shorter titans. He did ,though, experience a sudden burst of testostirone allowing him to become the second buffest member of the team (second only to Cyborg) and has developed a painfully obvious (not to mention large) bulge in the lower portion of his spandex uniform. After the incedent with the IRS, BB has been openly dating Raven (to his pleasure) in one of the cities more published realationships (to his displeasure)**

**Raven; Age 19, Save slightly rounder hips and bigger breasts Raven remains virtually the same.Raven has become a little lighter hearted and is more receptive to humor. After being with BB for a year or two Raven can keep her powers in check now except for the most extreme shows of emotion, like life or death situations. She also dislikes the fact that her realationship with Beast Boy has been so public.**

**Robin: Age 18, Virtually the same height as BB, Robin is still slender, still egotistic and still the leader. Robin has a very sexual realationship with Starfire which keeps every member up all night.**

**Starfire: Age 17, Being the innocently ignorant alien she is Starfire takes _every_ oppertunity to have sex with her boyfriend Robin.**

**Cyborg: Age 19, Cyborg is still the tallest and strongest male on the team though ,most likly due to his lack of genitailia, remains single.**

**A/N: Even though this is a plot story there will be lemons and I don't like throwing off my story with lemon warnings so beware and don't flame me because you didn't listen!**

**Disclaimer: Kids under 14, STOP NOW if you're under 14 go back to your browse or search and change the filter back to K-T. This fic is NOT for you, there are plenty of good fics for people your age.**

The titans sat grouped in two pairs and a loner on the couch. Robin and Starfire with Robin resting his head on Starfire's chest. Beast Boy star right next to Raven while holding her hand. Cyborg was the loner. The team was watching _Mega Monkeys: The Movie_. Naturally, things went the way they often did. About halfway through the movie Starfire and Robin began making out and had to be physically restrained to prevent them from having sex right then on the couch (again).

After the movie the Titans all went off to their rooms and loaded up IM, with which they'd talk for half the night. One of the more intesting conversations happened that night and it went like this:

mynamesnotrae89- Hi everyone

megamonkeyshack- What's up dudes?

Robodude9- not much, u?

megamonkeyshack- Robin? Star? u there?

nunofyasapprentice- i'm here

nunofyasapprentice- I starfire am also here

Robodude9- that's just sick u guys

**nunofyasapprentice has signed off**

megamonkeyshack- Hey rae...are u

mynamesnotrae89- read the screenname, but what?

megamonkeyshack- Are you doing anything tomorrow?

mynamesnotrae89- no, y?

megamonkeyshack- because i was wandering if u wanted to go to the park?

mynamesnotrae89- sure

megamonkeyshack- sweet

**megamonkeyshack has signed off**

**mynamesnotrae89 has signed off**

meganerd5- It is I control freak and I have finnaly hacked the titans' computer mainframe!

Robodude9- _Sending virus..._

meganerd5- Noooooo! My computer!

**the accont meganerd5 has been destroyed**

Robodude9- :( MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm still the computer masta'!

**Robodude9 has signed off **

The next day Robin was in the med bay with Starfire. Robin had hit his head on counter of a drugstore when he slipped in a puddle while buying condoms.

Cyborg had secured a ticket to comic con and was at the convention center.

At that time a certain green shapeshifter and a certian violet haired telekenetic went off to the park for the start of what was to be one of he most embarassing moments of either titan's life.

Once at the park Beast Boy had layed out a blanket and a basket. From the basket he pulled out some cheese, a french baugette and a bottle of wine.

"So, Rae' began BB "what do you want?" he gestured to the food as he pulled out some plates and tow wine glasses.

"I want some of this" she said takling him playfully so they rolled down the hill. They came to a stop at the bottom with Raven on top.

"You mean this?" asked Beast Boy giving her a passonate kiss "lets save that for later" he said sensually "For now lets eat" he grinned.

The couple walked back up the hill and sat down. They ate their lunch and consumed every ounce of wine in the bottle. BB was muscle heavy so the alchol had a lesser effect on him then his 114 lb girlfriend. Beast Boy lead her to a park bech where he sat down. He turned to her and gazed into her eyes. Her pupils were heavily dialated and she seemed overly happy.

She rolled to the side and onto BB planting a kiss on him. She reached down and pulled BB's uniform. As he was under the influence he didn't protest. She then pulled his boxers to his ankles and took a moment to subconiously admire the fact that she had picked the true love with the thick 12 inch cock.

She pulled took the huge member in her hand and began pumping her hand up and down. After a minute or two BB came, blowing his load at least a foot into the air.

The couple took a walk through the park afterwards. Raven felt her head began to clear. She turned to her lover "Did we just..."

"Yeah" he responded "You remember?"

"Yes I do ...on a park bench?"

"Yep"

"In public?"

"Indeed"

"Well" she said, trying to console herself "It was really good and I didn't sense anybody so I guess it'll be fine"

The two returned to the tower, only to be greetted by Robin who held a tabloid article featuring a HD color photo of their blow job in the park.

"What did you guys do that for? You've seriously damaged the Titans' reputation!' he yelled

"_We've _damaged it?" BB retorted pointing to the "wall of sex" a wall of the common room adorned with pictures of Starfire and Robin having sex, going to langere shops, exct. BB and Raven went off to their appartment.

Now in recent years the titans had rennovated some of the unused floor space into sharred living space for the two couples. Beast Boy and Raven lived in appartment 1 which contained portions of their old rooms combined. There was BB's video games on one shelf and Raven's books on another, the comprimise in the appartment was Raven's bed which they both slept in. The living space also had it's own bathroo and a kitchen.

Robin and Starfire's appartment was a simmilar mix of the two with Star's bed (mostly because Robin only had a cot). Cyborg had converted the other unoccupied floor into a tech city. It had everything, Servers, a workshop, the most powerful GameStation availible and a Cyborg friendly gym.

Beast Boy and Raven still had there old living space on the other floor which they used when the other was gone or for quiet time alone.

Everyone retreated to their quaters for the night, unaware of what was about to unfold.

**There, new long story with a lime. As you may have noticed I decided to adopt a more descriptive writting style, I hope you like it.**

**The all powerful**

**Cosmic Overlord**


	2. Chapter 2: Intruders at Titans Tower

**Those Effing Tabloids: Chapter 2**

**By: Cosmic Overlord, Master of the Universe and Waffles**

**Rated: M**

**A/N: Even though this is a plot story there will be lemons and I don't like throwing off my story with lemon warnings so beware and don't flame me because you didn't listen!**

**Disclaimer: Kids under 14, STOP NOW if you're under 14 go back to your browse or search and change the filter back to K-T. This fic is NOT for you, there are plenty of good fics for people your age.**

The next morning the Titans awoke to more or less published hell. On the cover of the Jump City tabloid, _The National Asker_ was this:

_"Give me the lamb curry, with extra lamb!"_

_Why Robin ,famed leader of the Teen Titans, hates sheep_

"Lover Robin?" asked Starfire "Why do you disilike sheep? They are so adorible and they give us sweaters ...and condoms!"

BB crossed his legs and dawned an uncomfortible expression "Uh Star" he said "condoms arn't made of wool"

"But the one lover Robin used last night was so fussy and nice what else but a sheep could it have come from?" she asked

"Fussy and nice?" said Raven looking at Robin

The boy wonder blushed.

"Robin has been seen on numerous occasions stalking farms and defacing sterta matresses" read Beast Boy

Before anything else could be said the alarm went off. The team ran off to intercept the criminal.

When the Titans reached the source of unrest they were shocked and disturbed. The jewlery store was almost destroyed and floating Raven like in the center of the rubble was a man. He was dressed in jeans a tye dye shirt with a peace sign pendant around his neck.

"Hello children" he said calmly, pulling out a guitar and strumming a chord, humming the notes. "What can I do for you?"

"What happened here?" yasked (yelled/asked) Robin

"This place had too many bad vibes man. It had to go" he replied

""Who are you?" asked Beast Boy

"The names is Floating rainbow" he said

"So you destroyed the store?" asked Cyborg

"Sure did" the hippy repied, playing half a scale

Robin threw an ice disk but with a sudden burst of speed Floating Rainbow leapt into the air and deflected it with his gitare.

"Too bad man' he said "Now I have to destroy you" pulled out several peace signs and threw them like frisbees at Starfire who destroyed them with her star-bolts.

Raven grabbed a bus with her energy and and hurled it at FR. The hippy front flipped into the air and landed on top of the bus as it collided with the remains of the building.

Cyborg ripped a lamp post out of the ground and swung at FR who blocked with his gituar. Cy swung again but FR did a flying kick and broke the lamp post in two. He then swung the guitar, sending Cy flying into a building

CTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCT

Across town a dark tall woman gazed from her skyscraper office at the battle below. The elevator dinged and a man entered the room. He was tall, dressed in metal armor. But by far his most odd wardrobe trait was the black and copper mask he wore, only one of his eyes was visible through it.

"Yes, Slade?" the woman asked keeping her attention on the fight.

"Phase Two is ready to began. You also have a very big check to write for me" said Slade

"You're one greedy son of a bitch" she said removing a breifcase from the desk.

"I know, thank you" replied Slade eerily.

He took the case and headed back to the elevator. He pushed a button.

'And Slade..." said the woman. Slade put his hand out, preventing the door from closing.

"Yes, Arora?" he asked

"Find a different outlet for stress, you'll be back in the field soon enough" said Arora

If you had been able to see Slades face, you would of seen him smile.

CTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCTCT

Robin flew through the air as a peace sign hit him. He skidded across the street and pulled out a bird-a-rang. The australian object hit FR in the chest sending him to the ground.

The hippy rose back up and braced for attack. Suddenly a communicator went off on his belt. He pulled out a smoke bomb and threw it to the ground. Robin rushed through the smoke, but FR was gone.

Back at the tower everyone was exausted.

They all retired to their living quaters for the night. They all slept untill their serenity was shattered by the alarm.

They all rushed from their rooms.

"Dudes! What's going on?" yasked Beast Boy

"We've got an intruder down in the power plant" said Cyborg, activating his sonic cannon.

CTCT

The elevator came to a halt on the power plant. The massive room had catwalks going 4 stories down. On the base floor was a maze of pipes and generators that would remind anyone too much of _Jurassic Park_.

Cyborg turned on his sholder light. Everything was silent. Cyborg suddenly fired at a pipe as something behind it moved. Robin pulled out several freeze disks, Starfire produced star-bolts.

"Wait" said Robin "No star-bolts, no sonic cannon. You could cause the whole tower to blow."

A blob of goo fell in front of the team. The Titans relaxed for a moment but it suddenly formed into a small semi-transparent, green plasmus thing. Robin did a flying kick through it and it burst.

"Split up" ordered the leader "See if there's any more"

The Titans each took a different route.

(A/N: The remainder of this scene will break down like in "X")

CyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborgCyborg

Cyborg walked slowly through the reactor plant. He looked around shining the light on the piping surrounding him.

Something moved behind him. Cy turned to the side to see what it was. There was nothing there. He turned back to face the path when he encountered several blobies (that's what they're gonna' be called so deal with it). He struck several, causing them to burst but was inevitubly swallowed up and carried away.

StarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfireStarfir

Star hovered along the path, looking for anything. She saw a flash and the next thing she new she was being carried away inside a blobie.

RobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobinRobin

Robin trodded along, bow-staff at the ready. He heard a sword leave it's sheath and whirled around, blocking the katana with his staff.

"No way" he said, flabbergasted.

In his moment of shock his attacker drove a neatle into his arm and everything went black.

BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB-BB

Beast Boy walked along, surveying the corner ahead of him. He rounded the bend and nearly screamed as he bumped into somebody.

"Quiet" said Raven

"Sorry, I just..." he said

"I just came from the security center for down here..." she said, BB just noticing she was extremly winded. "The others have been captured"

BB dawned a grim look, thinking. Then he grinned "I think we need some heavy artilery"

------

The armory was a cold metal room adorned with weapons. Beast Boy grabbed several firearms and few smoke bombs.

BANG. The sound of something hitting the metal door rung through the room. BB turned to the other door.

"Come on" he yelled typing in something on the key pad. "Damn" he said "someone's changed the code."

The other door burst open and hordes of blobies rushed in. Raven sent several energy blasts at them well BB fired at them.

The more they destroyed, it seemed, the more came in. After a minute or two BB dropped the gun, out of ammo. A blobie raised an arm to strike but it was suddenly bobarded with bullets.

The owner of the gun grabbed both Raven and Beast Boy, pushing them out of the room as they fired an RPG into the caos, spawning more caos.

The person exited, sealing the door behind them.

The person turned to them. He wore a black secret agent body suit. He had wavy red hair and a blue eyes. "Hello" he said, holding out his hand "My name is Marcus Terry"

"Sorry to inturupt, but I do have a job to do." said a bone chillingly familiar voice. They all turned to see Slade, adorned in full samurai armor with a patch on his right eye and mask covering his nose and mouth like a bandana.

Marcus whipped out an MP-6 and fired in Slades general direction, missing but allowing them to escape. They rushed for the stairs. They reached the stair well and Raven used a platoform of energy to raise them up. They came out on to the room as Marcus pulled out a key fob and pushed one of the buttons. They rushed onto the middle of the roof as Slade burst through the door.

There was a whoshing sound and a jet scouped up the three and they sped away.

**Updated. R+R.  
**


End file.
